Prayer for Today

"...Help me overcome my unbelief!"

God and Two-Inch Spaces

Have you ever stood at the top of a mountain, the edge of a shoreline, or the middle of a valley and become overwhelmed by the weight of the beauty surrounding you? You stand there for an eternity trying to take it all in. You look as far out as you can see in every direction, almost dropping under the enormity of what surrounds you. You can feel the wind on every bare inch of skin; the air cleanses your lungs and you are sure that you have never truly breathed air until now. The world is so silent here that your thoughts become deafening. You seriously contemplate whether you will become a permanent fixture of the landscape or whether you will settle for a photograph.

You pull out your camera and point it at the grandeur. You try to focus your eyes on the landscape within the two-inch camera screen, but the mountains, the waves, the trees, the birds all squeeze out of the frame 360 degrees around you. The picture you have just taken doesn't do your experience justice. And that's all you can say when your friends turn their dispassionate glance from your photo back to you. "The picture doesn't do it justice!" you say. "You really have to see it in person to get the whole effect."

How often do we attempt the same with God? We experience the glory of God with every fiber of our being, then try to contain our experience of Him in a tiny two-inch box. We take our sad little box--maybe it's a box of logic or rules or rituals--and we are broken-hearted when our friends give us a blank stare that wonders why you wasted their time. Indeed, they really do need to see it in person to get the whole effect.

Are you bringing God to your friends in a box, or are they able to see Him in person?

Alissa's Five Things

I've been sitting at home day after day trying to figure out what my dream job is, while I watch time run out on our second income, which is do to expire in September. I can tell you what my dream job is NOT; I can tell you what it kind of looks like; but I can't really tell you what it IS. I can tell you what I THINK it is, but the more in depth I think about it, the less it seems like a dream job. Maybe I just need to stop thinking so much and just start doing. If it's blessed, it's blessed. If not, I'll move on. But I better get a move on it so I get it figured out before I stop getting paid to look for a job.

So, without further ado (man, that was a lot of "ado!"), I think my dream job would to be a writer. This is not completely new. I remember in a counseling session probably about a year ago telling my counselor that I would love to be a writer. However, being the typical doubter that I am, I immediately thought, "That's impossible for you. You have no talent for such a thing!" Whether or not that's true, I don't know. I do know that it's something that not only do I have a passion for but it is also very cathartic for me.

As cathartic as it can be for me that is only if I am writing out of pure emotion. Writers write based on guidelines and deadlines, not based on feelings. In this way, writing can be a pain in the butt for me. Oh man, did I hate writing papers in college! I wish I had realized then that grades don't follow you around after college quite like your heart does. Before I went to college I wrote because I loved to write. During college, I wrote because I had to. After college, I didn't write at all. I learned during college that in order to be "successful" (that is, in order to get a good grade...such a tiny focus!) in writing, all my writing had to have this many arguments, that many quotes and it had to span so many pages. That's when I stopped dreaming. Thankfully, in the last year of stopping cold in my tracks on the path of success, my heart is finally catching up...only it's on the path of happiness. That's where I'm going with my writing.

I'm too much of realist to believe that following happiness is going to be consistent and fruitful, so I'm not going to let my heart take over completely. I know that in order to be a writer, whether or not I get paid, I must have a balance. It's much like my workouts have been in the past: some days I enjoy working out and some days I have to drag myself out there like a child who is called in from Sunday afternoon fun to go to night church (I think I put up a fight every week until about high school. In fact, I may or may not have done a similar thing within the last couple of weeks...heh, heh). So, in true Alissa fashion, I've made a list of tips for myself:

1.) Write more. Almost any article you come across on "How to be a Writer" you'll see this advice. Academia taught me theory, but never really taught me application (which is probably why IN THEORY I'm qualified to do anything, but IN REALITY I'm qualified to do nothing...yes, I am bitter....). I've spent exactly zero dollars on this advice, but it still seems about a million times more useful than what I paid tens of thousands of dollars to learn (yes, still bitter).

2.) Be prepared. Before I started writing this, I spent about an hour looking up articles about writing, being a writer, and I also checked my email and facebook. When I finally pulled up my blog to start writing, I decided that was the perfect time to start eating breakfast. I finished a banana, sat down to write, then decided some yogurt and granola would really hit the spot. After that, I sat down to do some SERIOUS writing and quickly decided that an apple would definitely set the tone for a day of writing. While that is helping me with my little aversion to food after holiday binging, it is not helping me meet any goals. Although I suppose I could argue (another thing that academia taught me *cha ching*) that the nutrients feed my brain in order to help me write better (I don't know...is it really working?). Even if that were true, I suppose it is possible for me to get all my eating out of the way before I sit down the first time, or I could just set myself up in the kitchen so that if I feel the necessity to eat right now, all I'd have to do is reach and grab. This could be bad for the waistline, though. Perhaps I should think about writing in a coffeeshop or a bookstore (what better place for inspiration, right?).

3.) Expect crap. I've actually written many more blogs than I've posted, and if I wasn't so sentimental, I would probably delete a lot of what I've published on here simply because it is just not well written at all. I hold myself to a very high standard, which is good in accounting, but not so good here. If I write a bad article, that does not necessarily mean I'm a bad writer. Maybe I'm just having a bad writing day, or maybe I just need more practice. No problem. I won't ever stop thinking, so I'll never stop writing...even if it is pure crap. There are some authors who have published books and they write at a level I wrote at in third grade (maybe they are third-graders, in which case, kudos!), so I'm not going to feel bad if I have a bad writing day, or week, or LIFETIME for that matter! At least I had fun, right?

4.) Set goals. Have husband trick you into accomplishing your goals. This is a very unpopular thing to say in this day and age, but I'm just going to say it because it's true: I am not self-motivated. Having said that, I'm not sure if this tip is going to work for me. I have written "to do" lists and even gone to the trouble of drawing pretty little checkboxes next to each goal, only to find the list untouched at the end of the day. Here's the kicker: it doesn't bother me a bit when none of those things are accomplished. I can always clean the bathroom tomorrow, right? I guess I might have to revise this tip. I should set goals, then tell them to my husband and have him remind me of what I said I was going to do. In some sort of weird way, even though he's telling me my own goals, I feel like I'm doing it for him when it comes from his mouth. I don't find much pleasure in accomplishments unless it pleases someone else. So there. Yeah! That's what I'll do! Great idea, Alissa!

5.) Spend more time on conclusions. I'm horrible at concluding my writing. Always have been...