This is just a little collage of my life over the past nine months. Add to this the pics of losing my job, having debilitating panic attacks, of gaining a bit of freedom from anxiety, bouts with depression, and days of rest, and you'll have a more complete picture. I can't help but think that all these thing together are not the complete picture, but that they are part of the whole. I have to think that way or else I will be much like I was earlier today -- sobbing over how things are not going as I had planned. According to my plan, at this point in my life I would be completely free of anxious thoughts; I would have a handle on my life; I would have had at least a year after getting married before starting a family; I would have been able to stay a while longer in the responsibility free moments of weekends at the cabin or evenings on the snowboarding hills. I'm not sure why the thought of not having that depresses me. I have gained much more than I've lost. I've lost only a little freedom and responsibility and a job that I never really liked anyway. I've gained another great family, a deep knowledge of how little strength I have apart from God, many restful days, and the beginning of my own family.
While I'm mourning the life that is behind me, I just know that 8 months from now I'll see the bigger, more beautiful picture. Forgive me for my discontent.
2 comments:
8 months from now!? What does that mean!?!??! :)))
Haha! Baby on board!!!
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