Beginning to understand relationships?

For a while now I've been questioning what the point of relationships is. I've only recently begun to understand the purpose of friendships and even of aquaintanceships (is that a word?); but the guy-girl thing has been a complete mystery. However, I think that mystery is starting to unfold.

My friendships are valuable to me because they serve as outlets for me. They also give me a chance to practice First Corinthians 13 love. And lately, I've begun to see my friendships as another area in life in which to serve someone. The people I meet only once, and those people who I talk to occasionally at work or church give me a chance to build community and to serve. I've discovered lately that there is untold joy in serving others, no matter how small the act of service is--smiling at a stranger, saying hello to the outcast at work, asking a co-worker how their doctor's appointment went or how their kids are doing, allowing someone else to take the parking spot next to the door, opening the door for someone, etc etc etc. However, I could serve friends, aquaintances, and strangers all day but come home at night and somehow feel like I'm still missing something.

I love investing in other people's lives. I love to bring a smile to someone's face. I love spreading joy and hope and love and truth to those that I come in contact with. In return, I receive joy and purpose. But still something feels like it's missing. When I say that, though, I feel like I'm being selfish or ungrateful. Maybe I am, but I think I may also have begun to realize what the guy-girl relationship really means to me.

At the end of the day, I come home to an empty house, a list of chores (that do or do not have to be done since I'm the only one my mess affects), and my thoughts. Even though I have friends that I can hang out with or talk to any time, by nature, friends only invest so much into each others lives. A "significant other," by nature, has chosen to invest much deeper, more vulnerably, more raw and real into your life specifically.

My friendships and aquaintances have an overflowing influence in my life, but I'm still lonely. It is the one person whom I have chosen to invest my life in and who has chosen to invest their life in me that I believe can take that away.

Genesis 2:18