Proud

I ran my first 5K this morning! My goals were very very low:

Goal #1: Show up.
Goal #2: If you show up, run the race.
Goal #3: If you run the race, finish it.

I can be proud that I set and reached all my goals, but I probably should have set my sights a little higher, and I think I actually had some greater, unspoken expectations for myself because even though I reached all my goals I ended the race very disappointed in myself and sobbed the whole drive home. Why? Well, I totally psyched myself out...it began about 6 minutes into the race. Right before the race started, I began to feel like I had to pee. I thought it was just nerves and that it would go away...it didn't go away. So, I began thinking to myself, "It's COOL to pee your pants!" However, it was near freezing this morning, I knew that I would be totally miserable (not to mention humiliated) if I ran the race with wet pants. I mean, if you're a marathoner who is running in order to win, then it's totally acceptable to pee and/or poop your pants during a race--it's forgiveable and the prize money is a great consolation. However, if you are an every day runner running at the back of the pack who is just trying to prove to yourself that you can set a goal and stick to it, then it's not quite as acceptable. People would probably think I have mental problems (or perhaps bladder problems?). So 7 1/2 minutes after starting the race, I stopped at the school and used the restroom. After that, my positivity started diving..."Way to go. You're a failure. I can't believe you are going to come in last place just because you had to pee. I knew you would find some way to screw up." I tried to pick myself back up. Just as I was beginning to shrug off my pit-stop, I got a massive cramp in my side. I wasn't expecting this because I hardly ever get cramps when I run. It was so bad that I could hardly breathe...and I was less than two miles into the race. By the time the cramp went away, I was half mentally defeated and started to feel sorry for myself....no one was cheering me on, there would be no one to congratulate me at the end....just an enormous crowd of strangers.

Well, I finished the race. My body felt great at the end, but my mind was defeated. It wasn't until after I got home that I was able to pick myself up again. This really was NOT a big deal. Not something to get upset about. I entered the race for the experience only...and I got some experience, learned some lessons, and reached my goals. On top of that, I looked up my time online when I got back and found out that I clocked 36:34...and that's with having to go off course and take a pit-stop (plus, I took the time to wash my hands). I'm guessing that whole deal cost me about 7 minutes. If indeed it was 7 minutes, then I ran my fastest pace to date this morning!

Here's some things I learned:

1.) Have someone there to support you, whether they are on the side cheering you on or actually running with you.
2.) Go to the bathroom right before the race starts whether you feel like you have to go or not.
3.) Prepare mentally as much as you do physically.

Hopefully with these things in mind, I will be able to run a better 5K next month!