This is something I wrote a couple months back, but never posted. I have a friend right now who is going through a really tough time and I thought maybe they could find some encouragement through this:
"This period of growth has been the hardest time of my life. I envy people who seem to have it together, like Rachel, Kristin, Joyce Meyer...well, pretty much EVERYONE else. I know it's not true. I know everyone has their own trials, and this one is mine: I'm alone. It's exactly where I need to be. I know this because it's uncomfortable, but not unbearable.
Right now it takes extremes for me to get back to ok. Before, I used to read my Bible and pray just in the morning. Now I have to read my Bible in the morning, on my lunch break, and when I get home from work. I have to read it out loud even so that my mouth is speaking truth and my ears are hearing truth. I've become so aware lately of all the lies I have believed my entire life. It's almost to the extreme that I could practically say I've based a lot of my life on lies. Here are some that affect my life every day:
1.) I'm going to throw up.
2.) I can't do this.
3.) People don't like me.
4.) I'm stupid.
5.) I'm unloveable.
6.) I have to earn everyone's love and acceptance. I can't just be myself.
7.) I would rather die.
8.) God's promises don't apply to me because I'm not good enough.
9.) I'm unacceptable the way I am.
10.) I'm not worthy of good things.
That's just the top ten. Millions of other lies probably work their way in between during the day. Believing these things has caused me so much pain over 27 years. I can't imagine how fulfilling life would be if I believed God's truths, such as:
1.) I can do ALL things through Christ.
2.) I am accepted and adopted by God.
3.) I am healed.
4.) God loves me and His love is unconditional.
5.) God is merciful.
6.) God wants me to live an abundant and fulfilling life.
7.) God hears me when I cry out.
8.) God is NOT holding out on me.
9.) I am made acceptable through Him.
10.) I have peace.
I've spent too much of my young life believing lies instead of God's truth...what a waste of a life!"
As hard as it was for me (I will say it again: IT WAS HARD!) to believe God when I wrote this, I knew with a quiet, but powerful part of myself that I had no other choice but to believe God if I ever wanted the pain to go away. I'm not sure exactly when I wrote this--sometime within the last 3 months. Here I am only about 3 months later feeling normal again. Am I completely healed? No, not yet, but I have hope, excitement for the present and the future, and a security in Christ that I didn't realize could be a reality in my life. You WILL get through this, my friend. Trust God even if you're afraid to. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight."
1 comment:
never will know if this was or could have been about what i was going thru but it still touched me and still does actualy made me cry to read it just now, but U know from what U feel inside, and from what U have gone thru good and bad how to portray Ur words and this was the most touching thing someone could have said with out saying much at all
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