I don’t believe marriage is for me anymore. I don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t believe that kind of love, whatever it is, exists for me. I believe in the love family and friends have for each other. I believe in the type of love we have for our pets. And I certainly believe in the type of love I have for Papa John’s Garden veggie pizza!
The type of love I don’t believe in anymore is the type that is supposed to exist between a man and woman. I don’t believe it’s any different than any other type of love, and I don’t think marriage has any purpose besides practicality—money, sex, and children—don’t need it, don’t need it, don’t need it.
As far as the lovey-dovey, “I can’t live without you” stuff, I don’t trust it. It’s an illusion that makes you believe you’re with the person of your dreams so that you get married and end up being stuck with someone who, for the rest of your life, makes you feel average at best.
And if the marriage thing is about finding someone who takes care of you, I’ll have to pass. I don’t believe that anyone on earth could love me as much or more than I love myself. It’s IMPOSSIBLE for someone on earth to take care of me the way I can take care of myself. I have everything I need WITHOUT someone else. Plus, life is a heck of a lot less complicated when it’s just me. Why would I want to have to consider someone else every time I want to buy a pair of shoes or go out to dinner? And why would I want to have someone in my life to worry about? I have enough worries of my own; I don’t need to have someone else’s worries burdening me. It’s just all very unnecessary if you ask me.
I know how this all sounds: it sounds like someone who has been dumped. I’ll give a little on that one, but I think it’s what I’ve learned since then that has affected my point of view more than the actual act of being dumped. You see, I found out that I was waiting for the perfect guy to come into my life before I decided to take care of myself, but then I realized that I didn’t have to wait (I know…I’m a little slow). I started serving myself the way I would serve my family if I had one. I keep my house clean now and I plan, make, and serve myself dinner every night at the dinner table…and I never complain about what’s for dinner! I make sure that I’m at activities on time and I clip coupons. The only thing not in the equation is someone else to complicate things. I’m still complete and completely satisfied. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. In fact, I feel like I’d miss out on a whole lot more if I were married!
I don’t believe in love and marriage. You can tell me what it’s about all you want, but as long as it’s just talk, talk, talk, I will never believe it. The only way I can believe that having someone to share my life with is better than what I have now is if someone proves it.
Good luck…
2 comments:
Sounds a little like Paul's view. If you can live without the benefits of a marriage, go for it!
I do not know if I will ever get married... if I do, I do... and if I don't, I don't. I will be content either way.
none-the-less I do believe in this love you speak of (although, as Paul alludes to, it is not a necessity of life). There are couples around me that have a beautiful relationship and share that love.
The kind of married love you allude to does exist. It can't really be explained; it's better to experience it. I just know that 42 years with this love of my life wouldn't have happened without that kind of love PLUS true commitment. Even when I'm that hairy, stinky, tub-o-lard you mentioned, he makes me feel like a queen. I hope this beautiful thing comes your way some day; if not, I know that Christ will be enough.
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