When I was little, I was told that God has three different responses to prayer: yes, no, and wait. When I was about 23, I began to hear, and thus, believe (yeah, you’d think by 23 I wouldn’t believe everything I hear…alas!) that you could ask for anything you want and God would give it to you, based on the verses in the Bible that say, “You do not receive because you do not ask,” and other such verses. I guess my thinking still leans more towards the second view, but kind of with a twist. I’m starting to think that, yes, in some cases God does give us what we ask for and beyond, but we only realize it if we know and pray in the true desire of our hearts. What I mean is, if I were to ask for a Mercedes, probably the true desire of my heart is to be significant, to have security. Well, God will probably spare me the hassle of the car payments and instead, infiltrate my life with experiences that will help breed security and significance in Him. If I don’t recognize that, it looks like God is not cooperating. If I do recognize the true desire of my heart behind that prayer, then I can appreciate another answered prayer. I know this is just a theory, but it’s a theory that has proven true in my life.
I believe that God gives us what we ask for and beyond because of something I just went through. A while back I prayed for peace, for more security in Christ, and for a forgiving heart. I was contentedly making tiny steps toward this while my life remained comfortable. However, one day about three weeks ago, it was like God edited out the boring, slow day-in, day-out scenes of my life and decided to move along the story line. It all unfolded with a paralyzing panic attack that made me think I was going to die. I’m telling you, this was the MOTHER of all panic attacks! My mind was racing, I started hyperventilating, then my fingers went numb, eventually my arms did too. As I attempted to drive myself home, the rest of my body went numb. First my legs, then my torso, and finally (I kid you not) my entire head. I screamed as loud as I could, but heard nothing. I looked in the mirror and my face was green (I’m not even kidding!). I finally pulled over to the side of the road in case I died while driving (at least I was thinking clearly enough to not want to hurt others during my death!). I got out of the car and curled up in a gutter. I thought if I could puke, I’d be ok. I couldn’t puke. I was trapped inside a body that would not cooperate with my soul. There was nothing I could do. Literally. I couldn’t move and I could hardly think straight. I had no idea how long I would be there. I wondered how long it would take someone to discover me. I thought I would die there. If hell is a place where you have paralyzing fear with no hope of ever escaping, then I experienced a taste of it. I asked God to deliver me. He didn’t. In fact, my fear and insecurity lasted for almost a week after that. I felt like God had left my side. But the thing is, I knew that even though I couldn’t feel Him, He was still there. I became more determined to be near Him, to find my security in Him.
With a few weeks of hindsight, I’ve realized that in one episode, He has given me peace and a security in Him that I have never experienced before. He has delivered me, like I asked…only it happened about a week after I asked, but He’s also given me abundantly more than I asked! I am so glad He didn’t pluck me out of the fear I was feeling during that panic attack. No doubt I would have left that episode with something great—a greater faith that God hears my prayers. But since He allowed me to go through it and struggle with it, I came out with something greater than that! I came through that with security in Him, peace beyond my understanding, strength that I never thought existed, confidence that I never thought I was capable of obtaining, and a heart full of forgiveness! He answered my prayer! He answered the true desire of my heart. Praise God for giving me far beyond what I could ask. How loving is that, folks??? That would be like asking somebody for a dollar for the vending machine and they go out and buy you a life-time supply of groceries. Wow!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that God DOES answer prayer. Whether we realize it or not is sometimes up to us. I could have left that circumstance saying, “Why didn’t you deliver me from that paralyzing, humiliating fear, God?” Instead, God gave me the wisdom to realize that He was answering the true prayer of my heart, “God, I don’t want to fear anymore. I want to have my security in you.”
You may not always get what you want when and how you want it, but I think if it’s the true desire of your heart, God will give you beyond what you can even pray for. Just recognize His faithfulness. Selah….
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