...That's right, folks! I've finally committed at least a year to being single. I'm actually making it a year from June 4th since that's when I finally felt I could make the committment. I just really feel like this is what God wants me to do. I really need this time to have only one close relationship in my life--my relationship with God. So far, I have found that I'm not comfortable with God. There's something very wrong about that. He knows everything about me, He created me, He's with me everywhere I go, yet I'm not comfortable with Him? It's almost like, up until now, He's only been a friendly stalker. Now it's starting to feel like He really is a part of me. I love this! I've even resigned to the possibility of being single for the rest of my life. I doubt that I will be, but if I am, I know I'll be perfectly happy!
That nagging question "what if "Mr. Right" comes into my life tomorrow?" occasionally enters my mind. The truth is that if he is "Mr. Right" he'll still be around when God tells me it's ok to get into a relationship. I have a feeling there will be a few guys that will come around in the next year or two (or however many!) that will seem like the perfect guy for me, but they likely will not wait until the end. As perfect as the relationship may seem to me, I am going to trust God instead. I don't think there's anything I can do that will keep the man God wants me to be with out of my life as long as I'm seeking His will first.
I've found over the last month or so, that I really cling to relationships (especially with guys) for my security. It has to stop. This is my step in that direction and it's a little frightening for me, but also very exciting. I'm expecting God to do some amazing things in my heart. This should be interesting....
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