My phone has been really quiet lately. It used to buzz, beep, and ring all day long…for months. And now it’s silent. It’s really hard to get used to. I’m beginning to realize how little contact I had with people other than JR. He’s the only one in my world that I can’t talk to, but my world is still silent. How can that be? It wouldn’t even matter if I turned my phone off or didn’t e-mail anyone for a week. No one would notice.
I’m hungry to communicate with someone. That’s why I blog a lot now. And I think that’s why my thinking has stopped being obsessive and has become conversational. I guess that’s good in a way, but who am I talking to? No one is hearing me. I guess that’s not completely true; God hears me. But what I’m saying isn’t significant or new or interesting to him. Of course, I guess that I didn’t always say significant, new, or interesting things to JR and he still wanted to hear from me, so why wouldn’t God?
I don’t eat much anymore. It’s not because I’m not hungry or because I’m trying to lose weight. The reason I stopped eating all the time was because I didn’t have enough money to buy much of anything. Then I think I just got lazy and stopped fixing food. I mean, cutting up vegetables all the time is time-consuming and not very rewarding. But also, the price of gas went way up and I could only afford to drive to and from work, which meant I couldn’t make a stop at the grocery store on my way home from work or on a lunch break. It’s not like I have more money right now (although I just picked up a second job), it’s just that I’ve gotten so used to NOT eating that it doesn’t bother me much anymore if I don’t eat a meal all day. It’s interesting how we can become accustomed to going without if we really have to. That’s why I wonder why people who are trying to lose weight think it’s the end of the world if you tell them they just need to eat less. Here’s a good weight loss plan for you: give all your money to me and then you won’t have enough money to buy food or gas to get to the grocery store. You might even have to walk to the store (gasp!). Call me in a couple weeks and let me know how much weight you’ve lost!
People around here are freaking out because the price of food has gone up. There’s a robbery just about every night because supposedly people are getting desperate. I’m sorry that you can’t eat out every meal anymore, that you might actually have to go to the grocery store and pick out ingredients, that you might have to spend some time eating with your family, that you might have to start picking out nutritious food so you’ll actually feel satisfied, or God forbid that you should have to eat the same meal a couple days in a row! I've been doing it for months and I'm just fine!
Oh, my gosh! I can’t stand this silence!!!!
I thought aliens were attacking my city this morning. I mean, really, it HAD to be aliens. Well, I guess the city could have been on fire or maybe we were being bombed, or maybe the Jehovah’s Witnesses were on a mad campaign or some other such tragedy because I can’t figure out any other reason someone would drive down the street at 4:30 in the morning on a Tuesday honking their horn…seriously!
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