I've been driving really slowly lately. I'm the person in the passing lane that is driving 5-10 mph under the speed limit. Yeah, I'm the one you honk your horn at and I'm the one who admires your demonstration of the dexterity of your middle finger....the one happily putzing along down the rode with an H3 attached to my bumper. Usually I'm the one riding people's tails. It's kind of fun to be the one in front this time. I can see why people do it now. Driving slow makes me feel a certain blissful ignorance. I get to listen to the radio longer on my way home from work. I get to read the witty marquees in front of churches and chuckle at their humor. I guess I'm having such a good time that I just don't care who I'm slowing down; they should have left earlier anyway. I'm not in a hurry to get anywhere anymore and also I drive a 1999 Chevy Malibu I like to call "Uncle Lester." And when you drive a car called "Uncle Lester" you are automatically allowed to drive under the speed limit. And besides, I'm saving gas by driving slower and I'm helping other people save gas too...you'll thank me this summer....
I quit my HHP class today. Well, actually, I didn't quit...I just decided not to go. I would have graduated in the middle of July. The people I've told about my decision are pushing me to stay in until the end because I'm almost done, but I just don't see the point. I've gotten what I want from the class. I wanted knowledge and I got a lot of it. I especially realized how much knowledge there is left to obtain, and that depresses me. I want to know it all, and I just can't. I certainly can't learn it all in six months, so I'm going to go at my own pace and I'm going to be thorough. Besides, I wouldn't have made a very good Holistic Health Practitioner. I'm not sure why I say that...I guess it just makes me feel better about my decision. So that's it. I made a decision and I'm not going to regret it. I have to stop second-guessing myself anyway.
I discovered a new pet peeve today: when you have a very light booger stuck to the inside of your nose, and it flaps in and out when you inhale and exhale. And then when you try to take care of it, you can't blow it out and you can't pick it out...that's really annoying.
My ex-boyfriend sent me an incredible apology this morning via e-mail. It makes me feel better and I think it's going to be easier for me to move on now. His apology was the most sincere and vulnerable thing I've ever heard. Some might say he's incapable of love, but him sending me this e-mail was the most loving thing he has ever done for me. He probably won't ever read this blog and I'm not supposed to contact him, but I have to get this off my chest: JR, I know you'll probably never read this, but I love you DEEPLY. I want to be the one to grow old with you; I want to be the one who supports you in your successes and builds you up in your failures; I want to laugh with you and cry with you; I want to take care of you when you're sick; I want to celebrate with you when your first novel gets published, and when your second and third also get published; I want you to be around when my hunter reaches level 70 (LOL!). But above all that, I want you to break through the heavy chains of your past and allow God to heal you. I want you to realize and experience the peace and the joy and the rest that is yours for the taking. I want you to always know and be confident in God's love. I love you and I will be faithful to pray for you. gluvu!
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